# 28 - Inside insanity

I think i'm half-insane.
Then again, aren't we all?
But myself especially. I think I got an extra dose of the crazyness.
For example, while finishing off my massive essay earlier this week, I hadn't had much sleep the 4 previous nights (about 3 hours maybe?), so by this time, I was extremely overtired and had way too many energy drinks. I started losing my shit man. For some ridiculous reason, I put undies on my head. I must put a skidmark joke in here somewhere. But seriously, I don't know why. I just thought it was a good idea at the time. Luckily it didn't mess up my streaked hair (har har har... ok, that was poor).
*sigh*

Lets just kick things off straight away, because I'm obviously not funny at the moment. Maybe some humour will come to mee as i'm typing away.

Thought #1 - Product and personal ad kill.
I'm going to kill the actual product, NOT the ad this time.
Dun Dun Dunnnn!

Isn't that just cute???

*sigh*
I swear, all these pet products that are coming out are just stupid. I highly doubt that the cat is going to learn what words are.
And how stereotypical! A cat learning what a 'mouse' is. I swear, people don't give cats a chance to be vegetarian. What happens if I cat only likes tofu and wants to befriend mice? People are so judgemental.
Speaking of this stuff, if cats like mice so much, why isn't there 'mice flavoured' or even mice in cat food?

Oh. Moi. Gawd.

Now isn't this something that EVERYONE wants to have. Their own colonoscopy set! I love how there's some vaso there too, and that there's a picture of a man smiling. Like, seriously, I'm not sure if you'd be smiling too much if you had this thing shoved up your ring.
"Self examinations have never been so easy!"
"As seen on tv!"
"Don't put your rectal health off any longer!"
... do I seriously need to crack any jokes? This speaks for itself.

Its a special SWINE FLU mask.

I don't really need to comment. It just goes to show that things go up in price with a hype. I hate shit like this. There is 9 bucks difference.
And since does masks cost FORTY THREE FREAKIN DOLLARS???!??!?
Like seriously. I can show you an awesome way of making a mask!

Step 1: Get a napkin/serviette.

Happy Napkin.

Step 2: Poke eye holes

A holy happy napkin.

Step 3: get an elastic band or a piece of cord/string and put around head and napkin like so:

Hawt.

DONE!
Alternatively, you could probably use paper, toilet paper or other cheap and easy materials. I think this cost me a whole 3 cents. 20 can be done for under a buck. I'm awesome. You can also be emo and have a fringe with your napkin mask!

I hate the world... and 3 ply tissues.

You can choose to make it colourful and colour it in more and make fairly ones and even draw happy paintings on them such as daffodils, but I didn't have the time (nor the sanity).
Though, I had an interesting thought:
Isn't 'Swine Flu" just the past tense of "pigs fly"?
Dun Dun DUNNNNNN

I is cleverest.

You know, I reckon i'll end it there, i'm getting a bit tired. Sorry for the short post. (The napkin thing took some effort.

*Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy*

Hooroo all!

# 27 - A pelican landed on my car

I'm not kidding.
I was going outside to bring the garbage bins in (My car wasn't in the garage as I came home late-ish the night before) and a pelican was sitting on top of my car.
If only I had a camera. Perfect Kodak moment fail.

Oh well.
Stuff like that you'll never forget though.


Thought #1 - Random ranting

Have you ever thought that some words are just hilarious.
Yeah, I know I had a post similar to this, but some more words just popped into my head, more the names of some people, like some poor kids need to grow up with names such as "Sakhdeep", "Phing Phong-Phan", "Puo Jarr" (Pronounced Poo Jar), "Ting Ting Choy", "Fanny" and "Gaye". If you're wondering, I have met people all with these names.

Still need to meet this guy though...

And also the word "fart" (the person who suggested this rocks).
I swear, sometimes I just can't but help laugh out loud when someone says "I just did a fart". Is it the notion of the fart itself or is it the fact that they're supposed to be funny (As stated in an earlier blog).
I think its got to do with the actual word.
It seems the funniest words are always the shortest, with one or two syllables. The f is quite attacking as well as the t at the end, making it a strong statement (just like an actual fart), and the "ARRR" in the middle reminds us of pirates.
There you have it, the science of why the word 'fart' is funny!

Thought #2 - The packaging for the product is seriously dumb sometimes

Case 1) Sandwich bags
I was in a store today and came across these:

60 bags for a dollar? Can't go wrong

Now, is it just me, or wouldn't you prefer to show that the sandwich actually fits in the bag?? In both cases, the sandwich is far too big for the bag and it won't close. Marketing genius.
So if they don't fit sandwiches, what do they fit?
Oh wait, they're not supposed to be used for anything else, as they're sandwich bags, even though bread doesn't fit in them properly. You'd end up with a sandwich like the ones you used to find in your bag at school which are a couple days old and very squishy.

Case 2) Coles' stupid talking people on their generic produce.
I'll give you one example of these cheesy lines.

He apparently loves to entertain...

Now, if you're wondering. This is for Soda Water.
I swear, I do not know ANYONE who drinks soda water straight. And Enjoys it. And feels refreshed, relaxed and ready for the weekend. It tastes like ass on a stick.

There are many other cheesy ones, but this is the only one I could find quick enough.

Thought #3 - Some funny pictures I found.










The last one kills me

*Ants stretch when they wake up in the morning*

Hooroo all!