# 30 - I'm craving craving something.

I'm sorry I haven't blogged for a while. Uni was extremely hectic with 2309574320957 assessments and my birthday just passes (yay for me).
Win.

BTW: Blue label is incredible. I still have 1/3 of a bottle from my partay.

Anyhoo.

Thought #1 - Drunkenness.

I reckon that being epically drunk is a lot like when you were a baby.
- You roll around on the floor a lot
- You dribble
- You puke
- Other people usually take care of you (if you're loved)
- Sometimes you shit yourself
- You can't speak coherently
- Fall over a lot
- Cry and can get emotional and chuck tanties

I mean, the list can go on and on.
I actually think its pretty hilarious for people to be in this state and still think that they have sex appeal. They look a little something like this:

Legen-ihopeyourenotlactoseintolerantbecausethenextpartis-dary.

Also, being epically drunk and not remembering the night before is also lots of fun.
Watching 'The Hangover', there were certain instances of that that made me laugh so hard, because I've been in that very same situation.
Not remembering what went down the night before.
Well, actually, most of the time its not the whole night, only parts.
And still, its funny, because people never tell you lies, they always say what you did. I reckon if someone asked that to me one time, i'll mess with them and tell them they chased a stray cat, caught it and started making out with it.
Their reaction - priceless.

There's some things money can't buy
But it can buy a shitload of booze.

Thought #2 - Coles and their lovely little quotes.
This is another stage of how Coles 'quotes' that people apparently say on their products is just stupid.

Exhibit A

This is tonic water.
It tastes like ass.
She doesn't have anything with the tonic water, just a nice clear glass of tonic water and a big smile on her face. Apparently this woman says that "Its a great drink when socializing with friends"
Fail.

Exhibit B

This woman owns a dog who apparently loves dog food. (Note that you can barely SEE the dog, yes, its a blurry picture, but trust me on this). Apparently the dog does handstands for the food. Don't all dogs go apeshit for food when you bring it out? I remember my dog goes bananas when I eat a pack of chips outside and I accidentally drop a crumb 5 minutes after she's had her meal. It also says that she's a dog owner down the bottom. NO SHIT!

Exhibit C

Its an experience to have this drink. A thirst quenching one at that. This is coming from a beach frizbee player named Jim.
What part about this doesn't have fail written all over it?
Over-the-top-cheesy. Plus they couldn't get a real athlete, so they get a random Dad from the beach and take a photo of him diving for a badly photoshopped frizbee.

Thanks Coles.


Thought #3 - More disgusting foods.

In the supermarket the other day, I came across this:

WTF??

Rollmops.
I'll say it again.
Rollmops.
The name doesn't even want you to eat it.
It sounds like something they'd sell you late at night to combat the Oxysteam WonderMop 2000X plus. The new and wonderful rollmop! It rolls as you mop, leaving no trace of dirt. Easy to glide! Only 2 easy payments of $19.95 (plus P&H).
I want to buy it, just to try it, just so I can have something to blog about each week, tasting a bunch of weird and disgusting foods.

Seriously.

Rollmops. Apparently its raw fish swimming in luke-warm brine.
Yum.

And another thing.
I can't stand the DIPping*** of maccas chips into the ice-cream. I tried it once. WRONG. And so many people do it.
Its like having a potato, but instead of sour cream, you have a blob of ice-cream in it. I've described that to people and they weren't fans of the idea, yet they'll still willingly DIP a CHIP*** into some maccas ice-cream.
Tell me please. What is so good about it?
Though hot chip sandwiches are the rad.

*The rumblings from your stomach are called borborygmi*

Hooroo All!

*** If you know about this, you are awesome.