# 18 - I have a blogger up my nose.

Have you ever tried to do handstands after swimming?
I always have water come out my nose - even though i was almost dry at the time.
God knows where it came from.

And here I ask the question:
Why is it that phone reception can be so gay sometimes?
I was talking to my brother over the electric mobile telephone, and he was breaking up. I usually pace when I talk on the phone (i don't know why) and it eventually became clear in a certain spot. I had to stand still. It was killing me yo!
unfair!

Anyhoo, onto some thoughts:

Thought #1 - Useless buttons

Have you ever come across useless buttons in your life? Like, I don't think I've really ever used "scroll lock" on the keyboard in my life. But here is a few more which you'll most likely agree with me anyway.

The Close Elevator Door Button:

Case 1

Is it really necessary?
And I swear that it doesn't close it straight away either. You need to push it about 23084623 times until something even happens. Its a useless piece of equipment. Technically, if you don't want anyone disturbing you on your trip up or down the elevator, you should be able to hold this button down, and it'll be lots of fun. You'll get even more enjoyment knowing someone could have gotten on your elevator and didn't because you were a bastard. Har har har.


The 'Bass Booster' button:

Case 2

I think this button should be renamed to "Please stop making the music sound like shit button". Good grief. Without it, you have NO bass. All it's doing is just upping the Bass EQ when you push the button from, most likely, Zero to probably half-way. And its on so many Old school portable CD players and Walkmans. Har har har. Old school!


The Dashboard dimmer switch:

Case 3

Who in the hell uses this thing anyway? You don't need to set a 'mood' in your car. Chances are, if you're having a root in your car, the person you're with won't care if the dash is bright enough or not. And as if you need to dim it in any circumstances anyway, considering the fact that you, you know, NEED to know your SPEED. I don't think that's going to work with the cops.
COP: "You know you were speeding?"
YOU: "No, cause I put the dashboard dimmer down a bit too much and I couldn't see it properly"
COP: "You're an idiot" *passes over ticket*

I'm sure I could think of more but i'm slightly tired.



Thought #2 - Traffic pisses me off.

I think the RTA and Head of Transport in the Government person dude just want to shit us sometimes. Like, for example, who the hell builds an 'express' tunnel to the city with only 2 lanes each way. SMART MOVE. (I'm talking about the M5 of course) and the Stupid M4 bottle-necks from 4 lanes (good) to 2 (stupid). These are MAIN ROADS, you'd think when they created them that they'd go "ok... population of Australia will most likely increase, so lets counteract for it", but Nooo... they do a gay job and they put up stupid road signs to warn us of slow traffic. They should be something like this:

Spot on dude...

Like seriously. I reckon that they're probably trying to fix things, but there's roadwork on the tunnels and stuff once every week or so, and that just shits basically everyone. When my brother and I were coming back from QLD, we had to come to a complete stop 3 times! GAH!! And like, there were lanes closed and everything, and i could not see a good reason for it at all. Like... c'mon. And this happens to me alot. I bet sooner or later, something like this will come up and just tick off everyone:

Oh God Dammit!

Road worker planner people of Sydney - get your act together!

... though I do love singing in the car.

*About 25% of the population sneeze when they are exposed to light.*

Hooroo all!