#26 - Piles!

So anyway, I'm like, totally blogging and like, I'm so cool cause I can express my thoughts cause I'm rad and cause like, well, like, yeah, you know, like, its soooooo coool! And like, when I like, blog, I like, write stuff like thoughts and like, ummm... yeah.

I find it hilarious when people talk like this... don't you?

Thought 1 - *Angry rant about being in a rush*

Is it just me, or when you're in a hurry, everything just seems to take longer as well as everything doesn't seem to be on your side?
I still remember that I was in a hurry on the way to tutoring at one of my students houses, and as I was driving (maybe a little over the speed limit), I shit you not, got basically every red light on the way there. So I got there EXTRA late, probably just so fate can rub it in my face.
How nice.
And this isn't the first time either.
other cases include -
On the way to Uni
On the way to soccer
To get to gym with Tazza in the morning
On the way home, so I can pee (This happens way too much, its ridiculous)

And it aint just red lights. I'd be behind slow drivers/trucks/L-platers, getting cut off and almost crashing, followed by the PO-LICE! and other instances such as my car playing up funny.
And it aint just in the car, its at home, where I'll be rushing to finish an assessment or around the house to clean up before I go, and something will go wrong i.e. computer will shut off because the Iron was turned on, losing half my work (Thank god for auto-save), cut yourself shaving, cut yourself by tripping over, cut yourself cause you're emo (cause I like, TOTALLY do that EVERY day)... etc.

God dammit!

Yeah... that's my rant.
I hate deadlines. I wish everyone didn't run by watches, so they'd do anything when they felt like it. THAT would be awesome.

Thought #2 - The hype of swine flu.

Is this getting out of hand or what?
The Pandemic level is at 5, and i'm guessing code blue and banana is the code word for if you have found a cure.
I can almost garuntee this'll blow over as quickly as the bird flu saga. There was so much hype and pandemonium that everyone got lost, and just forgot about it, and it just died.
Maybe taking too much precaution can make you sick. It smells fear! Dun Dun DUNNN!

Apparently there was one in 1976, but no-one gave a flying pig about it, (har har har, so punny, get it, swine flew? har har har) and it just blew over in a month.
I'll bet that's what'll happen with this thing.
I swear, I saw a person with a mask today as well. Good grief. Are people becoming that much of hypochondriacs?

Its just for pre-caution, and i'm also into safe sex.

People seriously need to eat a spoon-full of conrete and harden the fuck up. I swear we're getting whingy-er as a society (And yes, I see the irony in that, so be quiet).

... am I going to look like an asshole or what if this thing gets absolutely massive? LOL@me!


Thought #3 - Fail moment of the day.

This is one of my funniest stories evAr.

Once again, it occurrs at the gym. Only happened last week.

Whence I got there and had finished my weights session and went to do my ab work, the section for lightweights/abs was closed because of refurbishments. So, the workout station was next to the bench press section.
Now, as I began my little routine, two massive lebs pulled up on the bench press and began their workout.
Here's the funny part.
Being right next to them, I overheard their conversation. It went like this:
Leb 1: "Oh bro, what are you doing tomorrow night?"
Leb 2: "Nuffing bro, cause I had like, somefin but now I don't have nuffin no more." (A triple negative... WOW!)
Leb 1: "Cause like, I got my couzinz skyline for the weekend, bro, and like, we could go down to the city and drive around with the windows down or somefin bro."

I shit you not.

Their plan was to go to the city in a cousin's skyline and drive around with the windows down.

Sums it up beautifully. Even a car reference.

My god.
I felt like going "Can I come too in your fully sick skyline?"
It was freakin hilarious.

Anyhoo, more to come!

*A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate*

Hooroo all!

#25 - How does Teflon stick to the pan?

That thought just crept into my head.
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how does it stick to the pan?
And if LSD makes people see things, maybe we should give it to the blind.
And why are they called Apartments when they're close together?
And why are they called "buildINGS" when they're already built?
And if a door is open "ajar", therfore a jar can be open "adoor".
And why do we park on "driveways"?
If a fly has no wings, it should be called a "walk".
Do vampires get AIDS?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
and
If all the nations in the world are in debt... where did all the money go? No wonder we're in recession!

Thought #1 - More old school TV shows.

Its time. I thought I might share a couple more of my childhood shows.

Daria

I've been watching re-runs of this show lately. Its just THAT cool. I actually GET the jokes now, considering I was too young to understand them before. Its pretty hilarious. If I had half the wit Daria and Jane have, I think I'd be happy with myself. Seriously, if you've never watched the show and you dig a bit of satire on teenage angst, watch the show. Sure its a little cheesy at times, but it works.

The Animals of Farthing Wood

Damn did this show rock back in the day. A bunch of animals fighting for their land. Good ol' Fox and Badger, great leaders. Then the lady fox Vixen came along. Ruined it! Damn kids with their music. And no-one liked Scarface, Mr. evil fox.

The Adventures of Tin Tin

Now this was a classic show. Good grief this brings back memories. Tin Tin, Snowy the dog, Professor calculus, Thomson and Thompson (The two dudes with the epic hats), Captain Haddock. Absolute class all the way. I still remember he used to travel the world and whatnot, i.e. Tibet and all that foshizzle. Man, what I wouldn't give to do what he did. I seriously don't want that haircut and that dorky outfit.

Aaahh!!! Real monsters

This show I tried not to miss when it was on. It only ran for a short while, and I can't even remember what they did, but I know it was pretty funny. One of the darn shows that moved to nickelodeon. Fark. Ickis, Oblina and Krumm. The Gromble was mr. Head monster if I remember correctly. How come I can remember this stuff but have trouble remembering what I had for dinner last night?

The Angry Beavers

Was it just me, or did this have one of the most catchiest opening tunes. Good ol' smart Norm and dimwitted Daggett. This show still rocks. Its actually still on, hijacked by nickelodeon of course. But its surprisingly still going. My god, I thought today's shows are being taken over by shit like what's on usually during "toasted Tv". Man, screw that, Cheez TV was the rad!

Animorphs

To be honest, I think the books were bigger than the show (hence why I could only really find a picture of the book), but it was still wicked. To be honest, all I remember is Tobias, and that's about it, and whatever the hell that alien thing is. That creeped me out when I was younger, like, really creeped me out.

Brum

Legend. Pure Legend. I don't know anyone who didn't like this show. All he did was drive around and shake, but apparently he's a hero. He's my hero. I want to be Brum when I grow up.


Thought #2 - Fail moment of the day.

As I was in adelaide for my cousins wedding, I decided, HEY, I wanna hit the town. So I head into the city after the wedding on saturday night with Stef, a mate I met through the wedding, thinking it'll be a top time to head to the city. And right I was. Having a great time with more peeps I met down there, after quite a few drinks (and quite a few at the wedding too... loving expensive champagne) I was feeling quite drunk, and a bit peckish. So we decided to leave the final bar to head down to the local maccas for a bite to eat. I walked in first and almost puked, as it smelt like many hobos.
This was wrong. I think you'd be glad to hear that I didn't eat from there. Yesterday, I found out that this was video taped, put on YouTube and then apparently the Newspapers got a hold of it. It seems that this Maccas is in deep McShit.

Anyhoo, I must be off to amuse my mind elsewhere.

*Fine-Grained volcanic ash can be found as an indredient in most toothpastes*

Hooroo all!

# 24 - Bits and Pieces and DIP!

Sorry for the lack of posts but I've been stupidly busy with Uni.
You know, I really hate uni at times like this. Stupid two major assessments in one week. Last year it was 8 within 3 weeks. Like, seriously, WTF dudes (and dudettes which are kinda like dudes anyway), you're in the same faculty!
*sigh*
Sorry, for whinging, I just had to get that out.

Thought #1 - Are we getting stupider as a race?

Just been thinking, as people in general, are we getting more and more stupid? Even if science is making more and more discoveries per day, I think the general public is getting dumber.
Take GPS Navigators for example.
Before, we had to look it up on a Map, remember the way to go, and then head off on our merry way. Now we just type it into a magical little box and bob's your uncle, and we follow directions like "Turn Right" and we still get lost.
I mean, are we seriously getting that lazy and stupid?
I still prefer the old-fashioned way.

... Probably because I can't afford a Navman.

Thought #2 - Childrens shows in your memories.

My first one:

Johnson and friends

I loved this show as a kid. I loved Diesel, and if I remember correctly, he had an Aussie accent too. All he usually did was go Brrrrrruuuuummmm!!!!!.
Legendary show. I remember always watching this after Bananass in Pyjamass.

Gumby

Now wasn't Gumby awesome? Always waddling around with Pokey the weird looking Pony (who always smiled). Legendary show. I remember I used to have green long pj's that I used to hide my hands and feet in to pretend I was Gumby. He was THAT cool.

Round the Twist

Ahh, our first taste at the Supernatural as a kid. This was an epic show, no matter how often they used to change the characters on it. It was only very slightly comedic, but we still watched it anyway, because we hadn't seen anything like it before. I still remember the theme song:
"Have you ever, ever felt like this?"
Legen-Ihopeyou'renotlactoseintolerantbecausethenextpartis-dary

She look familiar?

She used to be one pretty late in the arvo, getting close to about 5 or 5:30 if I remember.
Its Alex Mack!
The awesome chick who could turn into water. I think she was my first celebrity crush. I liked her in year 4.
I'm unreal!
Seriously, this show was rad, until they kept running repeats.

The Trap Door

BERK! FEED ME!!!
Man that line is awesome. It just stays in your head. Just like the song.
"DON'T YOU OPEN THAT TRAP DOOR! Cause there's something down there! Dun Dun, Dun Dun!"
Wicked show. Did you ever come close to wetting yourself every time he opened the trap door? I did. Probably because I was a sook back in the day.

The Amazing Adrenalini Bros.

This show wasn't on for long, but when it was, it was GOLD!
I still remember a particular episode there that little one was catapulted around the world, then he was caught in the net and then sprung back around the world again.
Absolute L.O.L.2theMAX.
Loved this show.

FERAL TV!

Now this was awesome. The Ferals. The rat, bunny, cat and the dopey dog, and of course, the angry Toad Boss dude named Kerry and his sidekick Rodney the Roach. I always watched this show. This was quality TV. And why do all of these older Tv shows have the best musical intros?
"There's Rattus the rat and Madigliana the cat
They discovered fame and fortune and they're never going back
And Darryn the dog and whatabout Mixy?
blah balh blah blah FERAL TV!!!"
Oh yeaah! That's the shit!

I hope i've given you all a blast from the past... how awesome was TV back then! I'll do more later.

*The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds*

Hooroo all!

# 23 - Banana Bread

Mmm... I could go for some of that and a nice cup of tea.
Is it just me or every time you think of "banana bread" you think of an Indian saying it?

Now I bet you just tried saying it in an Indian accent.

If i'm right, this means that you need to comment!

Har har har.

Thought #1 - Ad Kill once again.

I love this segment.
Its just stupid ads which I poke fun at because of the poor marketing ploy.

Lol @ his plastic cape.

Once again, this ad really does not want me to drink milk. Few reasons:
1) He might be superman, but that package aint super, if you catch my frisbee.
2) I don't know anyone who gets a milk mustache that big when drinking it out of a glass. If you can't handle cups, maybe a sippy cup is in order superman!
3) His cape looks even more plastic than his hair.

That last excuse sucked, i'm sorry.
But you have to admit - poor ad.

Just one point needs to be made.

That is not a biscuit. Its clearly a scone.
I rest my case.
(They actually had to fix this ad because of the error. Lol@advertisement people)

What did they want to cut, the nails or the hair?

This is not how you promote a hairdresser. With an emo cut. 13 year old girls and boys do this with crappy black hair dye in the school toilets, and then to cover the smell of both the hair colour and the cigarette they smoked at the bus stop, they use either Lynx or Impulse spray.
Lol, so true. Still... they can get that look for free. Fail.

*Shudder*

I kinda didn't need to know that. *sigh*. Trying to shock people and then making it entertaining is one thing. Talking about you 'rents doing it? That's an image NO-ONE wasn't to have in their head.
Unless you're a nerd and your parents were Xena and a Klingon from Star Trek. That'll get you steamy.
... *sigh*.

Thought #2 - Fail moment of the day.

From now on, there is a fail moment of the day. Everyone will have one.
Cause we're so awesome.
My one of the day didn't happen to me, happened to someone at the gym (and it happened yesterday too)... its still a fail moment dammit!
Long story short:
There is a machine, kinda like a chin-up motion, where if you lift yourself up a bit, you run a risk of the seat falling down.
Anyhoo.
I just finished my exercise on this machine (last set was something like 100kgs or whatever), and i get up and as I walked out fo the machine, i accidentally bumped into this leb dude going towards it. He looks me up and down checking me out, laughs to himself and gets on the machine infront of his mates. They're all laughing a bit. I was walking away to the Dumbell section, still clearly seeing what was going on.
This dude tries the machine with the weight I had on finally, to no avail. He tries again, lifts himself up a bit the seat lifts up, slams to the bottom, he falls down and then falls off the machine into his mates which burst out laughing at him.
That's not the funny part.
ALL THREE of these idiots did the same thing. You'd think the third one learnt the lesson from the other two.
After they realised they couldn't do it with that much weight.. they didn't take the weight off, they left the machine.

Yep - That's me!

I hope they do it again sometime.

*Emus and Kangaroos cannot walk backwards*

Hooroo All!

# 22 - Gargoyles and Deoderant.

Those were the first to things that came to mind when I looked around my room.

Huzzah for year 11 ceramic gargoyles!
Huzzah for Deoderant!
Huzzah for Uni assessments!
... actually
Non-Huzzah the Uni assessment one.

God this looks to be a really gay semester. Damn ridiculous assessments.

I hate being poor.
I need more money but I don't have time for another job, cause I smell.
Maybe if I dedicated my time to not writing in this blog I could get a job.......
NAAAAA

w3rd.

Thought #1 - Songs with the same chord progression

I'm just gonna pwn off my research for my uni presentation I had to do today. These songs are practically all the same, and all have reached the Top 20 within the past few years. They all have the same chord progression of I - V - vi - IV.

(In C)
All The Small Things - Blink 182
Dammit - Blink 182
Save Tonight - Eagle Eye Cherry
Hurt - Johnny Cash (Originally by NIN)
Otherside - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Land Down Under - Men At Work
Scar - Missy Higgins
Buy U a Drank - T-Pain
I wanna Love You - Akon
Don't Matter - Akon
How Far we've come - Matchbox 20
Better in time - Leona Lewis
Gotta Be Somebody - Nickelback
Move Along - All American rejects

(In C#)
A message - Coldplay
Here Without You - 3 Doors Down

(In D)
Pictures of You - The Last Goodnight
Sk8ter Boi - Avril Lavigne
Torn - Natalie Imbruglia
Tattoo - Jordan Sparks
Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
Lips of an Angel - Hinder
Alive - Pearl Jam
With or Without you - U2
Carousel - Blink 182

(In D#)
You're Beautiful - James Blunt
That's what you get - Paramore
Aplogise - One Republic

(In E)
Alicia Keys - No-one
Take a Bow - Rhianna
The Reason - Hoobastank
Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus

(In F)
Glycerine - Bush
When I come around - Greenday
By The Way - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Under My Umbrella - Incubus

(In F#)
We're all in this together - High School Musical
How could this happen to me (or Untitled, i'm not sure) - Simple Plan

(In G)
Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne
What's My Age Again - Blink 182
I'll always Love you - Whitney Houston

(In G#)
4ever - The Veronicas
Snow - Red Hot Chili Peppers

(In A)
Numb - Linkin Park
Amazing - Alex Lloyd
She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
How To Save A Life - The Fray
Wherever You Will Go - The Calling

(In A#)
Face Down - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Beyonce - Irreplaceable

(In B)
I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
Poker Face - Lady GaGa
Shadow Of The Day - Linkin Park


... See? Basically all mainstream pop is all the same!

Thought #2 - Weird things only people will lots of money people will have.

There are up-coming products that are in development and will be/already is on sale.
Here's the first one:

This seems useful... [/sarcasm]

Now apparently this connects to the Net and burns the weather, news, pictures on your toast.
Why, in gods name, is this useful?
Oh, yeah, because no-one puts anything on their toast in the morning, they have plain bread, and they'll take MORE time to cook the toast in the Net-Computer toaster rather than doing it like a normal person. If this is SUPPOSED to save time, they've failed.

So sexy

This just has "fail" written all over it. I mean, even the kid himself is probably dying a little inside just looking at the advertisement.
Good god.
Though it kinda makes me want one. All I have is Charles. The lone hair on my chest. Gordon got ripped out =( =(

Only in Japan

I seriously think this picture speaks for itself, but i'll say it anyway.
THAT DOES NOT LOOK COMFORTABLE!


The caption says it all. This is just ridiculous.
Whoever buys this product is an even bigger idiot than the person who invented it.

I mean, c'mon, is this the age we're entering?

*A Mule won't sink in quicksand but a donkey will*

Hooroo all!

# 21 - The best blog ever written.

Wasn't it cool?



I'm quite maggot.



*The sound of E.T walking was made by someone squishing their hands in jelly*


Hooroo all!

# 20 - I want tube socks.

Have you ever had random cravings for things?
I woke up this morning really REALLY craving wedges with Sweet Chilli and Sour Cream.
At the moment, I could really go for a Yeeros.
Probably in 5 minutes, i'd really crave a good glass of wine.
And in 6 minutes, i'd crave pretzels.

Mmm... food.


Thought #1 - Slow walkers.

Don't you just hate the people that walk so ridiculously slow in front of you? Especially in a fairly crowded shopping complex or like, the isle in a supermarket, they're everywhere! And just when you go to overtake them, they move in the direction, so you need to dance behind them, so you look like an impatient asswipe.
Its the same with driving. You'll get stuck behind a stupid truck or a stupidly slow driver in a one-lane area. I always get this on the way to uni! GAHH!! Fail!!

Why didn't I think of this?

Why oh why must there be slow people!
Actually, this was put forward to me before, and I think its a pretty good point:
Young people always drive fast and usually walk fast everywhere, but they've got all their lives ahead of them, yet elderly people drive slow and walk fairly slow yet they've got less time (assuming) to live than the younger people. It doesn't make sense!
Oh yeah, slow walkers!
Also, Its hard in like, a crowded marketplace or something, even the showbag area in the Easter show, there's always a poor overweight man who's stuck in the middle, kinda used as a roundabout for everyone or everyone hides behind him so they can move forward cause he's a good blocker. Actually, its kinda one of those things you laugh at, but you'll feel a bit bad for laughing at it. Its like if they ride a motorbike, you'll laugh because it looks disproportionate.

He's going to the drive-thru for maccas, walking to it is too hard

HAHAHAHAHA.
I wanna be like him.
... not.



Thought #2 - The stupidest toys ever made.

No wonder kids are getting stupider. Many many many toys out there are getting absolutely ridiculous. You just look at them and go.... "Who the hell would buy that????"
Some examples I've found (on the internet, there's more, but its takes AGES to find!):

Actually, i'd probably get that last one... LOL

... damn it takes AGES to find good pictures...

*"Formicophilia" is the fetish for having small insects crawl on your genitals*

Hooroo all!